The past or the future?
by Babyjamo
Summary: Story about a chance encounter between Tilly and Jen five years on from when Jelly ended and the knock on effect on their lives.
1. Chapter 1

Tilly stood in the bathroom looking at her reflection as she tried to fasten a necklace around her neck. As she struggled with the clasp she looked at the image in the mirror and though that she was starting to get some winkles. How depressing she thought. Tilly stepped away from the mirror and just as she was about to give up with the necklace she felt two soft hand on the back of her neck.

"Here, let me do it for you"  
Tilly smiled at the sound of the voice and offer of help.  
The hands quickly clicked the necklace into place and then gently began massaging Tilly's shoulders.

"Mmmmm that feels so good."  
"Wow - there is a lot of tension here. I could be here all day!" the hands worked harder, kneeding away help relieve the tightness in Tilly's shoulders.  
"Now that sounds amazing. Are you offering to give me a full body massage?" Tilly asked hopefully as she turned around to face the owner of the hands which were now stroking Tilly's neck.

Tilly looked at her lover and felt a wave of desire rush over her, which was quickly dampened.  
"Ha! You should be so lucky. Don't you have to be somewhere - like work in about 20 minutes time"  
Tilly groaned"but this is SO much more fun than work" Tilly lent in placed a kiss on her girlfriend and started running her hands down her back. She was enjoying herself, but it didn't last long, soon she felt herself being pushed away.  
"Stop it Evans! We don't have time. I as a consultant need to focus on my job not spend the day fantasising about you... And you my young lady, as a trainee doctor, well I would have thought you needed to concentrate all the more!"

"Awwwww sometimes Kate Turner you are so bloody sensible" Tilly smiled before adding..."...and of course right!"  
"I always am darling." Kate laughed before kissing Tilly on the forehead "surely after all this time you must have accepted that by now".  
"Errr I'm not sure about that!" Tilly responded, positioning Kate so she was facing the mirror before adding " but you certainly always look a lot sexier with bed hair!"  
Kate's long blonde hair was indeed a mess. Kate laughed at her reflection, "well I guess if you consider what I looked like when we first met... This is an improvement!"  
"Oh god... Don't remind me" Tilly pretended to gag and be sick. "The smell!" She added before pretending to retch again.  
"Alright Tills! It wasn't THAT bad." Kate paused and looked at Tilly "actually YES it was!" Laughing at the memory.

**Three years ago...**  
They had met three years ago when Tilly had been on a placement in A&E at a different hospital. She was part of a group of 4 trainee doctors who were shadowing a consultant for the week and that day it was their turn to be in A&E.

Kate had recently completed her medical training and was enjoying the challenges of a busy A&E department. She was nearly at the end of her shift when a young guy was brought into the hospital by ambulance totally off his head on some illegal drug. The guy was a mess. Covered in his own vomit and poo. The guy totally stunk and as Kate was trying to inserting a tube down his throat to secure an airway, the patient was sick all down Kate's plastic apron and on her arms. Perk of the job!

Once the team were happy that they had stabilised the patient, Kate turned and pulled back the cubical curtain to head towards the staff showers and bumped head first into Tilly who was standing outside with the other trainees.  
"Oh my god!" Kate exclaimed looking at the gorgeous young trainee doctor who now had sick on her white coat and in her hair. "I am SO sorry!"

After recovering from the surprise, Tilly was hit by three things - first how beautiful the doctor was that was standing there covered in bodily fluids, secondly how sexy her Irish accent was and finally- the smell! The smell coming from the woman and the cubical was so strong, Tilly thought she might gag there and then.  
"Are you OK?" The doctor asked Tilly who still hadn't spoken.  
"Ummmm yeah, yeah I'm fine. Don't worry." Tilly finally found the words to speak.

The doctor smiled and turned to the consultant before adding "ok if I show her the staff showers Tom?"  
The consultant who Tilly had been following laughed slightly "sure Kate. I'm sure you can help young Matilda get cleaned up!" As he finished speaking Tilly could have sworn she saw him give the doctor, a cheeky wink.  
Tilly then noticed the doctors cheeks blush slightly. Maybe there was something going on between them.  
The consultant Dr Adams or Tom as Tilly now knew his name was turned to Tilly "You go with Dr Turner and clean yourself up. We're more or less finished now, so I'll see you tomorrow."  
"Ok thanks Dr Adams. See you tomorrow" she smiled at the rest of the group of students and then turned to face the doctor.  
"Right follow me" she said as she started walking out of the ward with Tilly following.

"I'm Kate by the way" the blond doctor turned to smile at the young student doctor. "Matilda was it?" She asked  
"Yes, but please call me Tilly"  
"Ok Tilly. So what year are you in?"  
"I've just started my second year at UCL"  
"Ah that's where I went. It's a great training hospital."  
Tilly smiled "when did you qualify?"  
"Just this summer. This is my first proper job as a doctor"  
"Oh wow. How exciting. Are you enjoying it?"  
Kate stopped walking and pointed to her sick stained clothes "what's not to love?" They laughed together and carried on walking.  
"Did you always know you wanted to go into A&E?" Tilly asked.  
"No not at all. Initially I wanted to be a renal specialist as my younger brother died of kidney failure when I was 14."  
"I'm so sorry to hear that" Tilly replied surprised at how honest Kate was being with her. "That must have been awful".  
"Yeah it was. We all still miss him so much."

Tilly could hear the emotion in Kate's voice and decided to move the discussion on "so what changed your mind?"  
"I just fell in love with the buzz of A&E. The uncertainty... Not knowing what is going to come through the doors each day. It really keeps me on my toes."  
"I can imagine." Tilly was still deciding her preferred area, but was being drawn to pediatrics at the moment.  
They reached the staff rest rooms and Tilly watched as Kate went to a locker and gave Tilly some spare clothes to change into.  
"Here you go. They should fit you."  
"Are you sure?" Tilly asked taking the clothes from Kate.  
"Of course. There are towels over there and shampoo and shower gel in the shower cubicals. Oh and here, have this carrier bag to pop your dirty clothes in."

Tilly gratefully took the bag, grabbed a towel and headed for the showers. As she walked past the mirror, she saw the vomit in her hair. Yuck she thought.  
After a nice hot shower, Tilly went back to the changing area and stopped dead in her tracks at the sight of a semi naked Kate.  
Noticing Tilly was staring, Kate smiled at which point Tilly pulled herself together and looked away in the hope that Kate hadn't notice how pink her cheeks had turned.

"Feeling better?" Kate asked as she hooked her black bra on.  
Tilly clumsily fumbled with her clothes and gripped her towel tightly around her as she tried not to drop anything.  
"Ummm yes. Yes thank you. Much better."  
Taking position at the other side of the changing room to Kate, Tilly quickly got changed. Aware that Kate was watching. Tilly felt a feeling inside her she hadn't felt for a long time, and realised that it was a feeling of excitement and attraction. Tilly had not been out with anyone since Jen Gilmore, and had used the excuse of wanting to focus on her studies to hide the fact that she was still bruised from all that had happened with Jen.

During freshers week, when every other new student was busy getting drunk and snogging other new students, Tilly had stood back and watched it all, in no mood to be taking part. Her relationship with Esther hadn't worked out as they had planned as they both realised it was too complicated with Tilly moving away for Uni. Deep down both of them also acknowledged that Tilly wasn't ready for another relationship as she still had feelings for Jen.

As she pulled on the pair of black Jeans, Tilly told herself to get a grip. The last thing she needed know was to develop a stupid crush on an older, straight doctor who was seeing her consultant tutor.

Tilly was shocked out of her thoughts by Kate's voice. "So, ummm... Seeing as we're both finished our shifts... I was wondered if you fancied joining me for a drink in the hospital staff bar. I'm meeting a couple of friends, and well after smearing you in sick, the least I can do is buy you a drink."  
Tilly turned round to face Kate who was smiling nervously waiting for an answer.

Tilly's heart was racing fast as she looked at Kate who was now wearing a smart pair of black trousers and a crisp white shirt, which showcased her amazing figure. Tilly stood looking at Kate, holding a t-shirt up against her bra-less chest for modesty.  
"You honestly don't need to do that." Tilly replied, instantly regretting her words. What was she saying? Of course she wanted to go for a drink. Tilly found herself hoping Kate wouldn't take her for her word.

"I know I don't." Kate replied "being covered in sick and everything else is all part of the package, but I would LIKE to"  
Tilly noticed the emphasis on the word like, and couldn't stop the smile spreading across her face.  
"Well... if you're sure?"  
"Very sure" Kate replied. "So are you going to put that top on then so we can get out of here?"she nodded towards the t-shirt Tilly was still covering herself with. She felt her cheeks blush again, only this time she didn't turn around. She remained facing Kate and removed the t-shirt and picked up her bra. Kate didn't take her eyes off Tilly once.

Once they were both dressed, they made their way back through the hospital and out to the staff social club, chatting easily as they went on their way.  
"Are you sure your friends won't mind me joining?" Tilly asked.  
"Are you kidding?" Kate laughed "you will be fresh meat to them - just don't believe any of their horror stories they tell you OK. They are complete wide up merchants and you, as a trainee doctor, will be told all sorts of lies and stories."  
"Errr sounds... Fun!" Tilly said nervously.  
Kate laughed "don't worry. I'll look after you."

After Kate had signed Tilly into the bar as her guest they made their way to a table where her friends were waiting. Tilly was introduced to the group and Kate went to get them some drinks and left Tilly to explain what had happened earlier.  
One of the friends, Jamie who was a senior ward nurse laughed as Tilly told the story before adding "that's our Kate! Always knows how to attract the ladies".

As Tilly took in his comment, she thought back to how Kate had been checking her out in the changing rooms earlier, and that maybe Tilly wasn't barking up the wrong tree after all! Just then Kate returned with the drinks and the group of friends started exchanging stories of their days. Without realising, the next thing Tilly knew it was approaching 10pm and she was pretty drunk. The evening had been fun, with as predicted by Kate, lots of tall stories from her friends. If ever Tilly wasn't sure whether to believe them or not, she would glance over at Kate for guidance.

With each glance exchanged, and each glass of wine consumed, Tilly felt the butterflies grow inside her. She still wasn't 100% sure if Kate was flirting with her, or just being friendly, so as she made her excuses to leave, she took it as a positive sign that Kate informed the group that she would also be leaving. At this point Jamie's raised his eyebrows at Kate, to which she responded with a friendly punch on his arm. The look didn't go unnoticed by Tilly.

As they made their way out of the bar, Tilly decided that she had to find out if she was imagining the signs.  
"So, do you know Dr Adams well?" She asked.  
"What Tom? Yeah he was a couple of years above me at Uni. He's a right ladies man that one. You watch out young Matilda!" She winked at Tilly.  
Tilly laughed "well he is good looking, but he's not really my type ... If you know what you mean?"  
Kate looked Tilly directly in the eyes before responding in a hushed voiced "mine neither... If you know what I mean!"  
And that was it. That was the confirmation They both needed.

As they walked to the tube, Tilly thanked Kate for a fun evening and promised she would wash her clothes and return them to her.  
"Well you know where I work. I'm on days for the rest if the week" she paused before adding "and then I have the whole weekend off!"  
Tilly picked up on the hint and smiled suggestively at Kate. "OK, well that's good to know. Thanks again and I'll see you soon."  
"Hope so"  
And with that they went their separate ways and Tilly felt herself falling slightly in love.

Their relationship started that night and three years on was stronger than ever. Tilly left halls at the end of her second year and moved into Kate's flat. Last year on Tilly's birthday Kate had taken her to Rome for the weekend and asked her to marry her. Tilly had been so surprised, but so happy at the same time. They had so much in common and Tilly didn't hesitate in answering yes. And so in one months time they would be civil partners.

Spurned by Kate, Tilly had no other option but to finish getting ready and head to the hospital.  
"Anyway lady, why are you up so early? Aren't you on nights? Tilly asked.  
"I am indeed, but there is still so much to plan for the wedding. I meeting the photographer today. One of Jamie's friend recommended the company. It's a gay guy and girl who specialise in civil partnerships, think their called Pink Photos or something like that." Kate answered excitedly.  
Tilly rolled her eyes "pink photos. What an awful name!"  
"I know, but their work is great. They meet up with the bride and groom .. Or in our case bride and bride, and really get to know the couple and they do these really cool vintage type photos."  
"Sounds great" Tilly responded half heartily, she wasn't as in to the whole big wedding thing like Kate was, so was happy to sit back and let Kate organise things.  
"Oh I know you're not really listening Tilly Evans, so you get yourself off to work and be amazing as ever, I'll see you in bed in oh about 18 hrs time"  
Tilly pulled a sad face at the thought "I hate it when our shifts clash"  
"I know sweet. Me too."  
They kissed goodbye and Tilly wished Kate fun with the pink photographer as she left for work, oblivious to what was around the corner.


	2. Chapter 2

Meanwhile, in an office on the other side of town Jen Gilmore was already hard at work. After leaving prison and Hollyoaks, Jen had decided to start afresh in London where a number I her Uni friends had moved to for the work. One of her closest friends at Uni had been a guy called Rich who had kindly put Jen up when she first moved down. Rich worked as a creative director for a travel magazine and was often away with work. He had a spare bedroom and offered it to Jen rent for in return for her services as a dog walker to his small pooch called Henry.

Jen was so grateful for the support and immediately started looking for work. She signed up with loads of recruitment agencies in the hope of maybe getting a job in the creative arts administration area, but quickly discovered that there wasn't a great deal of interest for someone with a criminal conviction who was on the child offenders register.

Whilst Tilly consented to their relationship, in fact she actively pursued it, in the eyes of the law she had been classed as a minor, and Jen would carry the stigma of that for many years to come. Prison had been a hideous experience and had tested her mental strength to the max, but she had survived and after three months inside, she was granted early release. During that time, Jen had tried to stay positive about the future, but after three weeks with not even one interview she was finding it hard to see how she could make it work in London. Just as she was considering throwing the towel in and retreating back to her mum and dads, she saw a job advert in the window of a photo shop for a sales assistant.

Whilst Jen had preferred Fine Art at Uni, she knew enough about photography as they had learnt the skills of developing photos to know what she was talking about, and so applied for the position. Luckily for her, there were no questions about criminal convictions in the informal interview she had with the owner of the shop, a sweet guy in his 60's called Malcolm.

Instead Malcolm had asked about her degree and favourite photographers, to which Jen had no problem answering. He then asked her to describe her favourite photo she had taken herself. Jen swallowed hard and without going into all the gory details, started to describe a simple black &white photo she had taken of Tilly at Crosby Beach. The day they had kissed for the first time, and Jen had fallen in love with Tilly.

Jen explained that whilst the photo itself was not her best in terms of light and focus, it was the memories that she associated with it. The emotions she relived whenever she looked at the picture. How that day had changed her life - for good and bad.

As she spoke of the beauty of Tilly and the atmospheric surroundings of the beach with the dramatic statues in the background, she couldn't help but get emotional. That photo was one of only a few things she had left to remind her of Tilly and it meant the world to her.

Realising that she was probably talking herself out of a job, she quickly cleared her throat, wiped her eyes and apologised to Malcolm. He reacted by smiling softly at Jen and placing a hand on her shoulder.  
"And that, Jennifer my dear, is why I love photography! It has the power to brings memories back to life like nothing else. That's how I see my role here - I help people keep memories alive through their photos. I see it as a great honour to be able to help people remember lost loved ones - mums, dads, children, siblings, grandparents, dogs and even a hamster once!"  
Jen smiled at the kindness of his words and his passion for his work. Sure you could see it as just processing photos, but the way Malcolm described his job, he made it sound so much more.

Malcolm offered Jen the job there and then and asked if she could start immediately ... Right then! He apologised and explained that he couldn't pay much, just minimum london wage, but that she was free to use the equipment for developing her own photos whenever she wanted.

Jen had felt so relieved at finally having a job and accepted the offer with a friendly hug. Over a celebratory cup of tea and a chocolate biscuit from a fancy tin normally only opened for visits from the bank manager, Malcolm explained that the photo shop had been in his family for 100 years and he was the third generation to have the honour of being the guardian of the business.

Sadly Malcolm explained that he would probably also be the last. He and his wife, who had passed away of cancer three years ago, had unfortunately never been blessed with a child.  
He had hoped his sister son, his only nephew might take over, but he was a successful computer programmer who had no interest in taking on a business that was struggling to survive due to changes in technology. Up until five years ago the shop had been booming, but with the development of digital camera and web based companies offering prints for 1p, it was a tough market.

As Jen listened to Malcolm speak she formed a mental list of all the things they could do to target new business. The shop was located near two excellent art schools and Jen knew through good student discounts she would be able give profits a boost. Developing photos was a dying art and it excited her that she would be able to help Malcolm keep the dream alive for a little while longer.

After just a month working in the shop, Jen had built up good connections with the photography tutors at the college who agreed to promote the shop to their students.  
She had also convinced Malcolm that he should pass on some of his skills by offering local amateur photographers evening classes on developing photos and the techniques he had learnt over the 40 years in the trade. Initially he was reluctant to believe that anyone would pay to hear him talk, but Jen was convinced it would work and placed an advert in the local paper, and asked the local shops, some of them neighbours of Malcolm's for years, to put up posters in their windows. The first class attracted 8 students who each paid £100 for an introduction course which lasted 3 hrs and included all materials. Malcolm was amazed at the interest, and as Jen watched him talk to the attendees, she could see how much he was enjoying himself. How happy it made him to be passing on these skills to other people who shared his passion.

Despite the age difference, the two of them quickly developed a firm friendship with Jen often staying for dinner with Malcolm in the flat above the shop. They complemented each other well at work with Malcolm opening up the shop each morning, and Jen taking over at lunchtimes, freeing up Malcolm to concentrate on the paperwork. They stayed open late twice a week to take advantage of the students taking night classes at the near by art schools, and after just two months of Jen working at the shop, sales had tripled.

Malcolm was over the moon, and as a token of gratitude he had paid Jen a small bonus which she used as a deposit to rent a one bedroom flat.

Rich had insisted that it was no problem for her to stay, but Jen had not wanted to outstay her welcome, and so nearly three months to the day of moving down to London, and after promising to still walk her doggy friend Henry each morning, she moved out and into her own place.

It wasn't much, but after a lick of paint, some photos on the wall and a new second hand sofa, Jen sat back and enjoyed the feeling of what she had achieved.

Jen used the shop as therapy. Over the following year she worked long hours and put all her energy into making it a success. She wanted to make Malcolm feel happy and to keep his dream alive.

The work helped her to take her mind off the loneliness she felt sometimes. To take her mind off the feeling of loss. The loss of love, of tenderness, of closeness to someone. Rich had tried many times to set her up a friend he knew, or did his best when they went out to get her drunk and encouraged her to 'have some fun'. It wasn't that Jen didn't want to have fun, she just knew she wasn't ready to share herself, to share her past, to explain why she did what she did, what she was feeling. She wasn't ready to open up, to invest her time in someone. And so she invested her energy into the shop.

One day she turned up at her normal

time to find the shutters still down. It was not like Malcolm to not open up,

And so with concern she opened the front door to the flat and climbed up the stairs calling Malcolm's name.

After checking the living room and kitchen she knocked on the bedroom door before slowly opening it.

There she found Malcolm peacefully asleep, calling his name she walked towards the bed and the Jen realised that Malcolm was in asleep from which he would never wake from.


	3. Chapter 3

Jen stopped what she was doing and picked up her favourite coffee cup and took a large swig. She smiled to herself as she looked at the photo that was printed on the mug. It was a picture of Malcolm and her standing outside the old photo shop, arm in arm. Jen loved that picture of them and she always fondly remembered her first encounter with Malcolm and the way he had spoken so passionately about his work.

Malcolm had passed away three years ago and Jen had been devastated at the loss of her friend. Their friendship had been an unlikely one, but it had come at a time when they both needed each other. Malcolm had needed the enthusiasm Jen provided to recharge him, and Jen needed the support and encouragement he alway gave her.

He had been the one to push her to start selling prints of her photos. Initially they sold from the shop, but Malcolm had then used his contacts with the local art galleries to help push Jen's work out to a bigger audience. Jen had decided to sell the paintings under a false name in fear of any negative press about her past coming out. And so it was that Holly Oakes was created. Holly regularly exhibited in London. Jen never went to the exhibitions opening nights, she just took the commission from the art dealer and regularly produced new work. Each month Malcolm would display the work of local photographers in the shop and showcase young talent. Overtime the shop became so much more than just the place you went to develop some photos.

Malcolm had died in his sleep of a massive heart attack which the doctors reassured Jen, would have been over so quickly he would not have suffered. Jen missed Malcolm terribly and she struggled to keep her enthusiasm up for the shop once he was gone. She just didn't see the point. Malcolm had left a will and the shop was to go to his nephew, who instantly put the property up for sale realising that the money was to be made it the property rather than the business. Jen was to stay on until the property was sold and had organised a small party in the shop for all the regular customers as a way of saying goodbye to the shop, and to remember Malcolm.

On the day of the party, Jen tried to forget the fact that she was once again in a position of not knowing what the future held for her. She missed her friend so much, and whilst she had made new friends through the shop, the fact remained that as soon as it was sold, she would be out if a job.

A couple of the lecturers from the art schools had come to the drinks and offered her work teaching at the college, but Jen knew as soon as they found out about her past, those offers of help would vanish. She knew she could never teach again. So she politely thanked them and made excuses that teaching wasn't really for her. Deep down she would have loved to have got back into teaching, but that was the price she had to pay for her relationship with Tilly.

As the night went on, and the guests started bidding their farewells, Jen found herself sat on the floor of the shop, getting drunk with one of the regular customers at the shop, a guy called James. James and Jen had gone out a few times socially and he had recently started working as a freelance photographer, specialising in gay weddings. Jen shared her worries about the future when James came up with a plan.

"Come and work with me!" James had blurted out.  
"Ah thanks James, but I'm sure something will come up eventually." Jen had replied touched at the gesture.  
James put his wine glass down and grabbed Jens hand.  
"Jen I'm being serious. I'm swamped with work and am at the point of having to turn work away. This isn't a charity offer, you would genuinely be helping me. We can really grow the business together."  
Jen listened to James talk through his ideas and the more she thought about it, the more it made sense. The two friends stayed late into the night talking about how it would work. Ben would look after the gay guys and Jen could have the girls.  
"Who knows Gilmore... You might even rediscover your romantic side!"  
"Hey!" Jen slapped her friend on the arm  
"I've had my romantic moments in the past" she defended herself.  
"That's the point... It's in the past! In all the time I have know you, you have never so much as kissed a girl let alone had a relationship!"

"What can I say ... I'm very fussy and I haven't met the right girl yet." Jen knew that was a lie. She had met the right girl, but unfortunately she had lost her. Jen had not seen or heard from Tilly in over two years, and she knew she needed to accept it was in the past and move on, but she wasn't ready yet.

A week after the party Jen had received an unexpected visit from Malcolm's nephew. Jen had briefly met him at the funeral, but all other exchanges since had been by email or the phone, so she was surprised to see him there. Jen closed the shop and the two of them went out the back where Jen made a cup of tea for them both.

After the funeral, at the drinks at Malcolm's sisters house, Jen had tried her best to convince the nephew to keep the shop on, explaining how it was now turning over a profit and through its classes and small photo exhibitions, the shop was now part of the community.

The nephew just didn't want to hear it. His mind had been made up years ago and after 10 minutes of explaining what would happen to the shop and when it would close for good, he stood up and shook Jens hand, thanking her for all her hard work. Before he left he handed Jen an envelop addressed to her. Jen recognised Malcolms handwriting and instantly felt the tears form in her eyes. After the nephew had left, Jen opened the letter and started reading.

To my dearest Jennifer,  
(Jen smiled at the fact that Malcolm had always called her by her full name. He was a true gentleman and Jen had learnt so much from him)

If you are reading this, well then I guess something bad must have happened to me ...I only hope I didn't cause too much fuss!

What a stroke of luck that you came into my life when you did and helped me live out my last few years with an energy I had thought I had lost for good.

For the past two years I have benefited from your friendship (what an odd couple we must have looked to the outside... But as you know all too well ... Who the devil cares if it works. And it did work didn't it Jennifer.

Do you believe in fate? Well I do. I believe fate brought us together in the way you ended up working at the shop. I didn't say anything at the time, but that advert had been up in the window for less than five minutes when you walked passed. What are the chances of that? Five minutes later and you would have already walked past my sad little shop and we would never have met. I love fate.

I was lucky to have found you at a time when you were running away from something. You channelled all of your energy into helping me turn my failing business around, and brought so much fun...for which I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

But, and excuse me for speaking out of turn here (not like you can stop me) You need to stop running Jennifer. Stop Running away from your past... From your feelings... Your emotions. I saw that from the very first day when you described the picture.

You have so much talent and whilst I have selfishly sat back and benefitted from it these past two years.  
In return I have instructed my nephew, once he sells the shop and property (which I know he will do) to give you £50,000 that I want you to invest in your future. Invest in your happiness.

Make me proud Jennifer!

Love Malcolm x

And so three years on, Jen sat back at her office desk and as she finished her coffee she hoped that she had made Malcolm proud.


	4. Chapter 4

After Tilly finished her shift for the day, she had arranged to meet a friend from Uni for a drink. Sam was in the same year as Tilly but was currently on a placement at a different hospital to Tilly so they had a lot to catch up on.

When Tilly arrived at the pub Sam was already sitting down with a bottle of wine waiting for her friend.  
"What time do you call this Evans?" Sam said jokingly pointing at her watch.  
Tilly laughed "I'm sorry I'm late, but don't blame me, blame the little boy who decided to shove a piece of Lego up his nose!"  
"ahhhh the old Lego up the nose excuse!" Sam responded with a smile as the friends exchanged hugs.  
Tilly sat down and picked up her glass and took a large gulp of wine.  
"Bad day?" Sam asked  
"Yeah it was pretty shitty...and to top it all off, I had a fight with Kate on the phone."  
"Oh dear!" Kate responded "what was it this time?" Sam was use to being a sounding board for Tilly as it seemed like their relationship was pretty fiery.

Tilly took another gulp of wine, swallowed and then told Sam all about her argument with Kate.  
"so you know how Kate is pretty much organising the whole wedding...well I just feel that it's starting to get a little out of hand. Today she was suppose to meet the photographer, but she got called into work early for an emergency, and so she's asked me to meet them tomorrow on my day off."

Tilly sighed and then continued "I kinda resent having to travel to somewhere miles away in South London on my day off to talk photos. I mean what is there to say for christ sake? Take my picture.. Thanks! "

"What did you say?" Sam asked  
"I just said did we really have to meet them beforehand? Why couldn't they just turn up on the day? Kate lashed out at me about how she had organised everything for the wedding, and how she was just asking for help with this one small thing, and I had to moan like a small child!"  
"Wooooah" Sam interjected. " and you responded how to that?"

"Well obviously I didn't appreciate being compared to a small child and probably overreacted a bit. I made some comment about it turning into something more that I wanted, how it felt like HER wedding not mine or OURS, and how scary it was starting to feel." Tilly paused and took a swig of wine.  
"Kate took offence of this and asked if I was changing my mind about the wedding before slamming the phone down on me."  
"And are you?" Sam asked  
"No..."'Tilly paused.  
"But ...? Sam asked  
"But ... It does feels like it turning into the massive big deal, and you know I never wanted that."  
"Well talk to her Tils. This is as much about you as it her you know! Don't let her take over...as Usual !"

Tilly rolled her eyes as he friend spoke.  
"Oh don't start Sam!" Tilly pleaded.  
"What?" Sam asked defensively  
"You know what" Tilly replied before adding "don't start on the anti Kate talk!"  
Sam had never liked Kate and had tried her hardest to put Tilly off her when they had first started dating, but Tilly hadn't listened. Sam had felt Kate was too controlling and that Tilly should go out with someone her own age. Sam told Tilly one night whilst a bit tipsy that she felt Kate treated Tilly like one of her junior doctor rather than her partner...her equal. Kate knew that Sam didn't particularly like her, but put it down to jealousy and told Tilly that Sam probably had feelings for Tilly. Tilly knew this wasn't the case as Sam had a specific type which involved tattoos motorbikes neither of which Tilly had. Tilly had tried to make Sam see the Kate that she had fallen in love with, but after a while she just have up and the group all knew where they all stood. Even so, Tilly got annoyed when Sam saw the chance for a bit of Kate bashing.

"OK... I'm sorry... I just want you to be happy that's all." Tilly smiled weakly as her friend reached over and grabbed her hand.  
"So how was it left? are you going tomorrow?"  
"I guess so." Tilly said glumly  
"Well you never know Tils, it might be fun. Remember my friends Claire and Sophie who got married last year?" Sam asked  
"The amazing one you met that hot girl at?" Tilly replied  
"Yeah..Rachel...and yes she was hot wasn't she" Sam gave Tils a mischievous wink.  
"Anyway, they had this amazing photographer from some company... Ooh...what was their name now?" Sam concentrated to remember the name "something stupid like pink photos I think..."  
Tilly let out a little laugh - "that's who we're using!"  
"Really?" Replied Sam "oh they are brilliant Tils. The photos they did were just so different to the normal cheesy wedding photos. Honestly, they are great." Sam smiled "and besides, the photographer was bloody gorgeous. Not that you'll be looking off course!"  
"Ha. Of course not"

Sam popped to the loo and as Tilly sat there waiting for her friend to return, she reflected on the argument and Sams words. Sure Kate liked to be in control, but Tilly honestly didn't mind most of the time. Every now and then they would have a big argument, but all couples argued right? Kate made Tilly feel secure. Her future was planned out for her - wedding, graduate, get preferred job in a good hospital, have kids move to a bigger house, live happily ever after.  
When they had first for together, the feeling of being looked after, of being safe was something Tilly had never experienced with Jen. It was the complete opposite of how she had felt with Jen, where she felt uncertainty all the time.

Tilly's parents had loved Kate when they met her, although her mum did express a concern that they were pretty young to be getting married. Kate had totally surprised Tilly with the proposal, but being a few years older than Tilly, Kate was thinking about kids and so didn't want to waste anytime.

If she was honest, deep down Tilly probably agreed with her mum about being a bit too young to get married, but Tilly loved Kate and so didn't want to risk losing her by wanting to take their time.

Tilly had deliberately not spoken about Jen to Kate. Tilly was embarrassed about her past, about the court case and being expelled. As far as Kate was concerned, she only knew about Tilly's relationship with Esther. Tilly had one night accidentally let something slip to Sam when they were out drunk one night in year 1, but Tilly had refused to talk about it. Tilly was still very much in love with Jen when she had started Uni and so had taken the approach of out of sight out of mind, and figured if she didn't ever talk about Jen, she would eventually forget all about her. Jen Gilmore was very much a thing of the past.


	5. Chapter 5

Jen had used the money Malcolm had left her to go into business with James and three years on the business was booming. Jen had set up a website to sell limited edition prints under the name Holly Oakes which would bring her in a small income each month which she saved away hoping one day to be able to buy her own house somewhere. The main income came from the wedding work with one of them working pretty much every weekend at a wedding. During the week, they did the paperwork and editing work of the photos from the weekend before in their studio office that they rented.

As Jen switched on her mac to start work for the day she checked her diary for that days meetings. She had a free morning and then there was a rearranged initial meeting with a bride to be called Kate who had cancelled the day before. One of the unique selling points of the company was the pre wedding meeting which gave James and Jen the chance to find out what kind of a wedding it was, what the brides and grooms liked/disliked. While most photographers left after the first dance, at pink photos they stayed until the end and set up a little photo booth with props for the guests to come and have a fun picture taken. Jen and James would find suitable props if the wedding had a theme. It went down really well with the guests and James and Jen always enjoyed that part of the evening.

Business was going so well they had hired a couple of students from the near by art schools to help with the big weddings at weekends. Jen enjoyed the chance to pass on tips to the students just as she had done as a trainee teacher. They advertise the business in the various gay magazines, Diva, Gay times and on websites and by the end of the second year they were making a healthy profit. Whilst 90% of their clients were gay, often straight friends who had attended friends wedding asked them to be their photographers and so word of mouth quickly spread.  
James and Jen complemented each other well with James dealing with all the accounts and suppliers and Jen looked after the marketing side of the business. They had a five year plan where they would grow the business to the point where they could start to take a bit of a backseat and had the day to day work over to employees, freeing up their weekends. Jen had plans of going travelling again and recording her advertises on her camera.

Working weekends had been hard on any relationships they had tried to start, although both of them had found that weddings provided them with the perfect opportunity to meet people.  
Jen hadn't been that fussed about being alone, it suited her and as when she worked in the shop, the business benefitted from Jen's 100% effort.

A year after Malcolm had passed away, Jen was working at a wedding in Brighton and for the first time found herself attracted to one of the guests. Sophie was one of the bridesmaids and so Jen had found herself spending a lot of the day in her company as she did the getting ready photos, church photos and then at the reception. Jen was drawn to her instantly, and found herself blushing whenever Sophie was around. It felt as though Sophie was looking right through the camera at Jen, and it was affecting Jen big time! As the guests enjoyed their dinner, and Steve the assistant started setting up the photo both, Jen went outside for a rest and some fresh air.

The hotel overlooked the beach and as Jen watched the boats bobbin along, she was startled by a voice behind her.  
"Having a well earned rest?" Came the voice. Jen jumped in shock  
"Oh I'm so sorry... I didn't mean to make you jump!" Jen turned round to see Sophie smiling at her, trying to suppress a laugh.  
Jen smiled back and burst out laughing herself "jeez... Did you see how high I jumped!" Jen chuckled.  
"I was worried I was giving you a heart attack!" Sophie replied "you need a drink for those nerves." She handed Jen a glass of champagne she was holding. "Here have this to calm you down." Jen looked at the glass and was tempted, but they never drank on the job.  
"Sorry - can't drink whilst we work or else the brides might end up with 200 photos of the floor, heads cut off etc." "so when can you have a drink?" Sophie asked  
"Ummm well when we're finished here at about 11." Jen replied  
"Great ... " Sophie gave Jen a killer smile before leaning in whispering in Jens ear "I'll come and find you then!" And with that she turned and walked back into the hotel.

Jen was left speechless at Sophie's forwardness. It had been a LONG time since Jen had found herself in this position and she was freaking out slightly. Trying to compose the sexual thoughts that were running through her body she looked at her watch. It was 5pm ... She had to get through the next 6 hours somehow and focus on her job and not the butterflies in her stomach.

Jen returned to the hotel and check on Steve to make sure things were set up ok. Given the location, they ha a seaside theme for the photo booth with two deck chairs and sunglasses and plastic seagulls and kiss me quick hats.  
After the wedding speeches it was time for the first dance. There was a live band and as Jen took her position by the side of the dance floor she nearly dropped her camera when Sophie walked up to the mic and started singing. Her voice was amazing and Jen felt a lump form in her throat as she started singing Kiss Me by Ed Sheeran. Jen had to use all her strength to concentrate on the brides rather than stop and watch Sophie performing. It turned out Sophie was a professional singer and had previously been signed to a record label when she was 21. Things hadn't worked out as she had hoped and so she had gone to Uni to study English Literature. She was just starting her second year and occasionally sang at wedding with a band formed of friends from Uni. At the end of the song, Sophie raised her hands in the air and clapped her hands three times as the band launched in to a version of Mr Brightside by the Killers. Jen was mesmerised by her.

After 90 minutes Sophie and the band finished their set to a standing round of applause as a dj took over for the rest of the night. Jen was busy taking pictures with Steve in the photo booth and the evening flew by, it was turning into an amazing wedding.

Just as they were finishing up Jen nervously looked at her watch. 10.50. But Sophie was no where to be seen. Jen had been wondering around with her camera taking pictures of the guests dancing, but she had not seen Sophie for ages. Jen felt disappointment at the thought that maybe she had left already. Jen as they packed their equipment into the car, Jen handed Steve the car keys and told him that he was free to head back to the hotel they were staying in and that she fancied walking back. They said their goodbye and arranged to meet him for breakfast in the morning before they would drive back to London. Jen checked her watch one more time 11.05. She was gutted. Jen found the brides and wished them every happiness at which point they had given her a big hug and thanked her for making their day. They insisted she stayed for a drink and so Jen politely accepted a glass of champagne and then decided to do one last scan of the hotel. Jen always liked hearing feedback from her clients and she knew today had gone really well, but the evening wasn't ending quiet as she had hoped. She took her glass outside and took a seat on a beach to watch the sea again. She had been there only a few minutes when she felt a hand on her shoulder. Slowly turning round Jen smiled as she saw Sophie standing beside her with a kiss me quick hat on. Without saying a word Sophie leant in and slowly placed her lips on Jens. Jen felt herself melt.

After what seemed like a lifetime, they finally pulled apart, neither of them wanting the kiss to end.  
"Well hello!" Jen said with a big smile on her face.  
"Hi" Sophie grinned back. "That kiss was even better than I had been imagining for the last 6 hours"  
Jen was relived to hear that she hadn't been the only one imagining that kiss, and as kisses went, it was pretty good.  
"I thought I'd missed you." Sophie said "I unfortunately have spent the last three hours with my ex who turned up to the evening part of the wedding and who needed me to explain for the 100th time why we weren't right for each other!"  
"Ouch" Jen replied, not sure what to make about the mention of an ex.  
"Yeah it's fine, it was over 6 months ago, but this was the first time we've seen each other since and so it was always going to be awkward."  
Sophie reached down and grabbed Jens hand. "Anyway, I looked at my watch and it was 11 and so I ran to the photo booth and saw that you were all packed up. I felt gutted."  
"Me too!" Jen confessed "I figured you'd had a better off and was about to leave when I was convinced to have a drink by the happy couple"  
Sophie moved closer to Jen "I owe them big time. Have seriously only had eyes from you from this morning as we were getting ready. Couldn't you tell?" Sophie laughed to herself,  
"I clearly need to work on my 'I fancy you like fuck' pose"  
Jen laughed and pulled Sophie in even closer and wrapped her arms around her waist "Actually it was pretty good ...I was trying to be professional so had to ignore it until 11.01. I'm no longer working so how about this drink you promised me"


	6. Chapter 6

The morning after the wedding, Jen had texted Steve and told him that she had decided to stay in Brighton for the day and would get the train back rather than join him in the company car. Jen and Sophie had stayed up drinking late, before Sophie had invited Jen back to her hotel room.

From that night on they had pretty much seen each other once a week, every week, either in Brighton or in London. Sophie was concentrating on her dissertation and finding work as a journalist and Jen was busy with the business, so it suited them both. They got on well and had a lot of fun together, and there had been one discussion about the possibility of Sophie moving in when Jen once her degree was over once and for all, but nothing had been finalised. Jen was happy with how things were working out, and felt like after such a long time on her own, after such a long time getting over Tilly... This relationship was going along at just the right pace for her. She wasn't sure if she would have been able to commit to more had Sophie demanded it.

After seeing each other for a month the subject of past relationships came up. Sophie had told Jen all about her ex, the one that had been at wedding. They had met at a gig and had dated for three years, but it hadn't fun for Sophie as her ex had been very possessive and had trust issues. As Jen sat there listening to Sophie talk about her ex, she imagined her reaction to her own past...so I was shagging a pupil of mine, and I ended up going to jail and now I'm on the sex offenders act! Sounded grim, but to Jen it wasn't that simple. Jen told Sophie all about Tilly, how she had tried to fight the feelings she had, about how despite the risks, she couldn't stay away. How she had faced a daily battle between what her heart wanted and what her head was telling her was right. Jen told Sophie about the bus crash and how they had got back together after many months apart, but that Jen had messed things up over the way she had handled the Esther situation.  
Sophie sat in silence as Jen talked about her arrest and time in prison with honesty. At the end, when Jen had finished speaking Sophie looked at Jen "you must have really loved her?"  
Jen felt a lump form in her throat. Jen nodded, fighting back the tears.  
"I do... I mean I DID! Past tense. I risked and lost everything for Tilly. But..." Jen leaned in closer to Sophie "that was all in the past. I've moved on." Jen placed her lips gently on Sophie's. "Thanks for listening... And for not judging."  
Sophie kissed Jen back "well I happen to think you are worth it".

Back at her desk, Jen sent Sophie a quick text message to check that she was still planning on coming up that night, before settling down to work. She spent the next couple of hours editing some photos before her appointment was due.

Meanwhile Tilly was reluctantly and rather gingerly, due to a stinking hangover, making her way across town to meet the wedding photographer. Tilly and Sam had stayed out later than they had planned and Tilly had been pretty drunk by the time she had got home. Luckily for her, Kate was on nights and so wasn't around to see Tilly drunkenly attempt to make some pasta. She did however see the mess Tilly had left in the kitchen when she got home at 6.30am and wasn't best pleased.

Kate had stomped upstairs and prodded a sound asleep Tilly on the arm. Tilly didn't move. Kate prodded again, this time Tilly groaned and pulled the duvet over her head.  
"Tilly!" Kate said angrily "Tilly wake up!"  
Tilly slowly opened her eyes and could tell by the tone in Kate's voice that she was in trouble. Slowly pulling back the duvet, she blinked as the light in her eyes made her head hurt. Why oh why did she drink so much last night. "Please don't shout babe" Tilly pleaded.  
"Tilly I had just had a hideous night shift and then I come home to a complete mess in the kitchen. I just don't need it."  
"I'm sorry K. I... Had a bit too much to drink last night... I'll clean it up."  
"Tils I don't know what's going on with you at the moment, but I could really do with your support, rather than you fighting against things - like going to see the photographer."

Tilly groaned as she remembered that Kate had asked her to go to the pre meeting. Tilly really didn't want to go, but given the trouble she was in, she realised she didn't have much choice.  
"Ok, ok" Tilly resented "I'll go to meet the photographer. I'm not trying to be difficult, I'm just feeling a little overwhelmed by it all. I... I just need to sort myself out. I'm sorry"  
Kate looked at Tilly and let out a bit sigh. "Ok Tilly. Well it's probably not the time to talk now, but let's make some time tonight to sit down and talk. I'm tired and need some sleep so how about you shuffle over and make some room for me?"

Tilly and Kate fell asleep and after a few more hours sleep, Tilly crept out of the bed, taking care not to wake Kate. After a shower, she went downstairs and saw for her own eyes the mess she had made in the kitchen. There was pasta on the work surface, the floor, there was sauce all over the cooker, it was a state. After a large glass of water and two headache tablets, Tilly started cleaning up her mess. Tilly was feeling guilty about Kate's comments and so once the kitchen was clean, she popped to the local flower shop and bought Kate a bunch of flowers and left a note apologising again.  
Realising that she had better get going if she was to make the appointment, Tilly grabbed her coat and left the flat for the long journey south.

Feeling hungry Jen was munching on an apply when the buzzer to the door went. Quickly she went to the intercom to biz the client in. In between chews Jen mumbled "hi Kate, please come up the stairs." And opened the door.

Quickly hiding her apple and saving her work Jen heard the footsteps coming up the stairs, and then the voice "ummmm actually it isn't Kate..."Jen stopped what she was doing at the sound of the voice. She stood completely still as she listened to the footsteps climb up the stairs. Her heart was beating so fast... It...it couldn't be..."Kate couldn't make it, so she asked me to come along..." The voice was almost at the top of the stairs now and Jen was physically shaking. She held onto her desk for support as she waiting for the owner of the voice to come into sight. Jen stopped breathing. "...I'm the other bride"  
The voice chirpily added ..."I'm Ti.."  
"Tilly." Jen whispered the name as Tilly reached the top of the stairs and the two women stood staring at each other, taking in the sight of each other, how the other person had changed over the years.  
Jen remembered thinking that Tilly looked perfect before everything went black. 


	7. Chapter 7

Tilly stood staring at Jen, her heart beating so fast she thought it would burst out of her chest. She just couldn't believe that she was looking at Jen, after all these years. Tilly went to open her mouth to say something just at the point when Jens legs gave way under her. Tilly watched as Jen crashed to the floor, giving her head a big whack as she landed.

Tilly's doctors instincts set in as she rushed over to where Jen had fallen and quickly maneuvered her into the recovery position to stop the possibility of choking. Jens head was gushing blood from where she had hit it on the floor. Tilly quickly pulled out her phone and called 999 and explained the injury to the operator who assured Tilly that someone would be there shortly. Tilly looked around her surroundings to try and find something to stem the blood flow. She briefly left Jen and headed towards what looked like a kitchen. Opening the cupboards Tilly was relieved to find a first aid kit which she grabbed and ran back to Jen. As Tilly opened the box she noticed her hands were shaking. Tilly had obviously seen and dealt with a lot more serious injuries than a cut head over the years, and so knew that her nerves must have been more to do with her patient than the injury. As Tilly cleaned the cut, trying to steady her shaking hands, she felt Jen move as she came to.

Jen didn't know what had happened or how long she had been out for, as she opened her eyes she found herself lying on her side and her head was pounding. Jen tried to sit up, but instantly felt giddy again.  
"Woah there. Where do you think you are going?" came the voice. Tilly's voice. Tilly! Jen remembered  
"What... What happened? Jen asked slowly.  
"You passed out Jen and when you fell you have gave your head a bit of a whack and have a cut."

Jen groaned and instantly reached up to try and touch the cut. She felt Tilly's hand stop her. "Leave it alone. I found your first aid kit and have put a bandage on it, but it needs stitches. You were out for a good few minutes so I've called the ambulance as you need to get an X-ray to make sure there isn't any bruising or bleeding in your brain from the bang it took."  
Again Jen groaned "oh god. Really? I'm... I'm sure I'll be fine." She tried once again to sit up, but couldn't do it.  
Tilly smiled as she watched Jen try to sit up, try to pretend she was ok "Jen...listen to me... I'm a doctor... Well almost... And you need to go to A&E ok!"  
Jen groaned again, but seemed to comply. "OK Dr Evans". Jen weakly smiled before adding "you did it then. You're a doctor! That's amazing."  
Before closing her eyes as she absorbed the situation. She had passed out in front of Tilly and now needed to go to hospital. How embarrassing.

"Jen has this happened before? Have you a history of blackouts?" Tilly asked in her doctor voice.  
"No. Never... I... I don't know what happened" Jen knew it was the shock of seeing each other again that had caused Jen to pass out. As Jen laid there on the floor with Tilly supporting her head, Jen couldn't believe it. The shock of seeing Tilly was bad enough, but the fact that Tilly was getting married was too much. Jen felt nausea begin to rise in her, she couldn't tell if it was from her injury or the shock of Tilly being engaged. Jen groaned and tried to sit up as she realised she was definitely going to be sick. "Oh god... I'm going to be..." And then she was sick all over the floor. Jen groaned again at the shame.

"I'm ... I'm sorry" Jen apologised.  
"It's OK Jen... I'm kinda used to it." Just then the door buzzer went. "OK Jen, I'm going to go and open the door and let the paramedics in, you need to try and stay awake ok? It's really important that you stay awake". As the paramedics checked Jen out they confirmed that Tilly was right that Jen needed to go to hospital.

As they positioned Jen into a carry chair to get her down the stairs, one of the paramedics turned to Tilly  
"Are you Jens friend?" Tilly was taken aback by the question and didn't know how to answer it. The truth was they weren't friends. They hadn't seen or spoken for over five years. Tilly finally responded "errr kinda of."  
"Great. are you coming in the ambulance to the hospital?" Tilly didn't hesitate in answering that question. "Yes." Tilly responded, much to Jens surprise. "Yes of course I'll come." Tilly turned to look at Jen who looked asleep. "I want to make sure she's ok. I need to know she is going to be ok."  
Tilly reached down and picked up Jens hand "Jen, jen? You need to stay awake." Jen could hear Tilly, but didn't have the strength to respond so she squeezed Tilly's hand back instead.

Once at the hospital Jen was taken into A&E and Tilly was asked to provide the reception with Jens details. Tilly surprised herself by remembering Jens date of birth off by heart, but then she realised she didn't actually know Jens address. Tilly had grabbed a coat and bag from Jens studio and after looking through her purse she found Jens driving licence. She gave the address and then the receptionist asked for the next of kin and Tilly had to say she wasn't sure. She gave Jens mum and dads names and the town they lived in, but maybe Jen was married herself. Tilly realised how much time had passed, and how their lives must have changed in that time.

Tilly took a seat and waited for news. Jen would be sent for a scan to check for bleeding or swelling on the brain. Blood samples would be taken to try and establish the cause of the blackout.  
Tilly made her way to the Emergency area and was pointed in the direction of the cubical Jen was being treated in. Pulling back the curtain Tilly saw Jen hooked up to a heart monitor and a drip with an oxygen mask over her face.

"How you feeling?" Tilly asked as she walked towards the bed where Jen lying.  
Jen mumbled underneath the mask and then realised Tilly couldn't understand a word she had said. So she slipped off the mask so she could speak.  
"I've felt better to be honest."  
"I bet!"  
"What time is it?" Tilly looked at her watch - nearly five" surprised herself at how the time had flown. Kate would have expected her home a while ago, she was going to have to give her a call to let her know what had happened and that she would be late.  
"Listen Jen, I'm happy to stay with you until your results come back, but is there someone you want me to call? A wife, girlfriend?  
Jen shook her head "no wife...but girlfriend yes. Sophie. She... She is coming to stay tonight, but later."  
Tilly absorbed the information and was surprised at how pleased she had felt at the news that Jen hadn't married. She didn't know why she still cared, after all SHE was engaged...but she DID care.

Tilly collected her thoughts and realised that Jen had confirmed she had a girlfriend. "Errr do you want me to call her? Call Sophie was it?  
Jen nodded "if you wouldn't mind. She's coming on the train from Brighton..., we don't live together." Jen kicked herself. Why on earth had she felt the need to tell Tilly that they didn't live together?  
"OK." Tilly said surprised that Jen was living on her own "I'll ummmm I'll call her and tell her where you."  
Jen smiled at Tilly which unexpectedly made her catch her breath. Even in her current state Tilly saw Jens beauty as she had the first day she had seen.  
"Tilly, you really don't have to stay you know. I'm sure it will be fine... I'm sure I'll be fine." Jen smiled weakly  
"It's OK. Honestly. I'm just going to pop outside and make a couple of calls, and I'll be back soon, I promise."

Jen gave Tilly Sophie's number, And Tilly walked outside, grateful for the fresh air. She walked over to a bench, sat down and pulled out her phone.  
Tapping in Sophie's number Tilly took a deep breath as the phone rang at the other end. Eventually it was answered by. Sleepy sounding person.  
"Hello?" Came the voice.  
"Hi, is this Sophie?"  
"Yes... This is Sophie. Who is this?"  
"Sophie, hi ...ummm... You don't know me, my name is Tilly and I'm calling about Jen. She's asked me to call you and let you know that she's currently in Kings A&E."  
"Oh my god. What... What's happened?"  
"She blacked out and hit her head. We're waiting for the results of a CT scan to come back to make sure there is no bleeding on the brain. They may keep her in tonight, or if the tests are clear then she'll be able to go home, but it's best if someone is with her."  
"Of course." Sophie said with concern. "I'm about 20 mins away on the train and I'll jump in a cab and be there as soon as I can. Poor Jen. Will she be OK?"  
"Well the doctors are checking everything to be safe. She gave her head a big whack when she fell, so I would expect there to be at least some swelling."  
"Oh god. Is.. Is she awake?"  
"Yes she awake at the moment. She's on a drip an oxygen, but she's talking OK, which is a good sign."  
"OK thank you Doctor. Thank you for calling."  
"Oh no... I'm not her doctor." Tilly corrected Sophie "I was just there at the studio when she fell and called the ambulance."  
"Oh.. I...I see." Sophie responded "well thank you. Thank you or calling and for being there. What.. What was your name again?"  
"It's Tilly."  
"Tilly!" Sophie replied with suspicion in her voice "as in Tilly from Hollyoaks?"  
Tilly was shocked. So Jen had told Sophie all about her. She wondered what exactly she had told Sophie.  
'Err yes. Although that was all a long time ago and it's all in the past."

Is it, thought Sophie? Is it in the past? Why was Tilly with Jen in the first place? Sophie's head was buzzing with questions. As the train whizzed through the darkness towards its final destination, Sophie watched the houses, flats, office blocks pass by she tried to calm herself down. Tried to convince herself the firstly Jen was going to be OK, and secondly that there was nothing to worry about re Tilly.

Tilly quickly called Kate to explain what had happened, how the photographer had collapsed and that she was at the hospital with her until her girlfriend arrived. Tilly left out the big bit about Jen being her ex, and how seeing her again HAD affected her. Tilly dropped her head into her hands and let out a loud sigh. Why did this have to happen? Why did the photographer have to be Jen? Why was she still so affected by her? Tilly loved Kate, they were getting married, they were getting married and would live happily ever after. That was the plan. There was no place in the plan for Jen Gilmore. Tilly stood up and knew what she had to do.

She had to get away from Jen, right there and then. And so instead of going into the hospital as she had promised Jen. Tilly started walking...Walking away from Jen.


End file.
